The road to recovery is definitely not linear. It has many road blocks, dead-ends, u-turns, bumps, potholes and lots of construction. The beauty is that even though recovery is not linear, it is possible–it happens and it can be a beautiful journey along the way.
My new mantra is YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH IT TO GET OVER IT.
Going through it is not always easy, but it is ALWAYS WORTH IT AND NECESSARY.
I have gone through it many times and most recently went through it again. It was and has been a difficult and painful process–not an easy one but necessary. The beauty is that I made it. I survived, when once again I was not sure if I could. I made it to the other side of wellness again–my wellness anyway.
Even when we don’t think we can do it or make it through, each time we make it gives us more strength and determination to keep going and fighting. When we experience the beauty of living, and we find out what that beauty looks like and how that joy feels, it gives us the fight and determination to keep going. I changed pronouns to plural form, because I want everyone to understand that I survived this and made it once again and that means you can too.
The feeling of making it to the other side again and gaining more clarity and understanding of the meaning and purpose of my life is amazing. Also, seeing my father exhibiting his angry, cruel, selfish, strange and horrific behaviors while my Mom was living her last days on earth helped to validate why I became ill and it gives me more understanding of my own behaviors throughout my life since I was a child. It makes so much more sense to me now. I feel blessed to have finally gathered that amount of necessary clarity.
I will share more details at a later date, but I wanted to share that I am doing so much better. I survived again. Praise God for that.
Recovery is a process that has many layers. Each layer is different and necessary. Sometimes we peel the layers back and discard them permanently. Other times we add new layers or put old layers back but assemble them in a new and better place and manner. The layers all combine to create your own unique and beautiful mosaic of your life.
I am BETTER. I am not over it yet, but I am enjoying the process of going through it.
Have a very happy Autumn and…
much love always,
BTW… Fall is my favorite color.
My new favorite quote:
Copyright © 2021 by Susan Walz of My Loud Whispers of Hope