Sad. Scared. Trying not to cry.
A brewing pain I won’t deny.
Becoming difficult to hide.
Can’t bear to fight from bottom up.
Skimming at the surface,
bobbing underwater,
struggling to stay afloat.
Dog paddling to shore before the tsunami hits.
Must get to safety before it’s too late,
before I sink so deep I can’t float.
Feel myself sinking
but jump out of the water.
Water splashing off me,
gasping, gulping in air.
Distracted, thoughts gone.
Fear I might be leaving.
Have not experienced dissociation for a while,
but it lurks inside for safe keeping.
Available when needed for protection.
Flight or flee from pain.
Can’t take it so I leave.
Discard myself from internal pain.
Pain not too deep yet
but near the surface.
Scared. worried.
Need to protect myself.
Get rid of what ails me.
I’ll come back soon.
I pray.
written by Susan Walz
Thank you for reading and please read my post I Must Resign… that explains the reason behind this poem. Thank you.
Much love and hugs,
Sue
© 2020 Susan Walz | myloudwhispersofhope.com | All Rights Reserved
Photo Credit: Photo by Marcis Berzins on Unsplash
