Wow. It has been over two months since I wrote. I have been too busy living to write. I used to write for survival and used to be too busy surviving to fully live. Recently, I have been so busy truly living to make time to write. I don’t want that to happen anymore as I love to write and need to make more time for it. This is how the gifts of life and fully living recently happened for me…
In October I was looking for a new part-time job again. In looking for that job I found out that I could actually teach again as a Head Start teacher. My teaching license did not have to be current to teach there. I just had to have a teaching degree and a license. I interviewed for the job and was offered the position even though I had not taught for over ten years and fifteen years before that short teaching job.
This was a big decision for me as I have been on SSDI for over 25 years due to the severity of my past mental illness symptoms. I disclosed the truth to my potential employer by discussing with them my dilemma of accepting a full-time position and having to discontinue my SSDI. Despite my fear of the stigma of mental illness I told them a short and condensed version of my mental illness story. I honestly didn’t think I would get the teaching position especially after telling them I had once been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Hallelujah. Stigma must be improving. Even though they knew I had lived with severe mental illness, they hired me anyway. I was hired as a full-time teacher, again.
My recovery has become a full circle recovery. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar over 25 years ago I was a special education teach and after my symptoms became too severe I had to quit teaching and felt I lost a huge part of my identity.
When filling out my forms, it asked for the title of my position, I hesitated briefly before I proudly and gratefully wrote the word teacher to describe myself, once again. It feels miraculous to get that part of my identity back. It has been a long time coming but the beauty lies in the fact that it came and I made it… full circle.
It has not been easy. I have not taught for a long time, so I had to search deep into my memory bank and find those saved memories but they were in there. They came back slowly but after I started teaching they came back to me more and more until I finally remembered how to teach again. It felt good and so right. Helping and loving up children, especially needy children is what I was meant to do and what I do best.
Our God is a full-circle God and… recovery can be a full circle recovery if you never give up. Keep fighting bravely. Recovery and wellness may not happen as fast as you want it but if you keep fighting bravely and never give up it will happen. I am living proof and you too can become that living proof.
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