My brain is always moving quickly–thinking, planning, reminiscing, dreaming, creating and is actively working. It doesn’t shut down much. It has always been like this and it always will. That is a part of who I am.
Sometimes my thoughts are happy and pleasant and other times they are negative, intrusive and alarming. When negative words and ideas start filling my mind, it is easy for me to become those words. I become angry, hateful and self-defeating or whatever the recording is playing inside my mind. Whatever it is I become it.
“Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.”
For example, before going into work sometimes my brain repeatedly says, “I don’t want to work today. I don’t want to work. I hate working. I hate work. I hate this job. I want to stay home. This job sucks. I hate that I have to work. Hate. Hate. Hate.” I become my words and I begin to hate. Even after reading my comments, didn’t you start to hate my job too? 🙂
The more I flood my mind with angry words the more I become angry and unhappy. This is not how I want to feel and no way to begin my long eight and half hour work day. I will become an ugly reflection of my negative thoughts and will begin to feel the meaning behind those words. It will become more work to hide the negativity inside my mind.
After the negative words seemingly flow from my subconscious and echo inside my mind for a few minutes…
I slam on my thought breaks and screech my negative hateful words to a halt.
That’s it. No more. I must stop this negative thought process. My mom used to say, “Don’t be a negative Nelly.” Go from a negative Nelly to a positive Polly.
Even though I don’t feel happy or positive at the moment, I start repeating positive comments to myself. It can’t hurt. It is better than feeling angry and negative. Plus, it can be a distraction technique. So, I say things like, “I love my job. I am happy to be going to work. I’m a good person. I will share my love with others. I will let Jesus’ love shine through me. I am happy to be alive. I will be a blessing to others. I need to let God’s love shine me and touch others. Please God, let your love shine brightly through me.”
As I walk into the building, I think, “I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job….” I continue to think happy thoughts until I encounter other people. Hopefully, my positiveness will stay inside me and reflect out of me and carry me strongly through my day.
I am super sensitive to EVERYTHING–people’s verbal and non-verbal language shouts at me sometimes. I must learn to not listen to it and brush it off. I cannot let it consume me or become me. This is difficult and is a continuous work in progress. It has helped me so much by getting rid of the negative things in my life and by that I mean people. If people brought me down and interfered with my recovery, I kept them out of my life. It was necessary and beneficial for my continued mental wellness.
I realize positive thoughts do not stop depression, but I have learned after years of living a mental illness life that I must keep a positive dialogue playing inside my mind as often as possible. This is a great coping technique that has worked tremendously for me.
Please give it a try. When negative thoughts fill your mind, say something positive over and over and see what happens. It doesn’t make things end like depression and of course it isn’t a cure for what is ailing you but it sure can help improve whatever state your mind is in. Just give it a try. It helps me stay afloat and combat the demons sometimes, and by demons I mean negativity, intrusive thoughts, past abuse, belittling, shame, hurtful labels and any negativity trying to move into your beautiful mind.
Don’t let negativity overstay its welcome. Negative words don’t pay rent and I guarantee there is nothing gained from the negative words or thoughts so kick out negativity before it becomes a tenant inside your mind. Stay free and clear from any unwanted negative guests inside your own mind and also in your life.
Positivity breeds more positiveness
and the birth of peaceful harmonious joy.
© 2019 Susan Walz | myloudwhispersofhope.com | All Rights Reserved
My Loud Whispers of Hope 
being positive is always good! I am glad you are able to do that! Be glad you can actually work! And you have a job! Something to cherish! Xox
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I am very happy and blessed to be able to work as there were years I was unable to even function let alone work. I agree working is a great thing. I began working part-time about six years ago and recovery slowly leading to mental wellness started after that. I only work part-time about 16-18 hours a week right now. I just work long shifts each day I work. I hope you are well dear. It feels great to be back blogging again. I missed you Carol Anne and hope you are doing well.
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I really enjoyed reading this because it reminds me of how I viewed my job in the past. The alarm clock would sound off, and before it was turned off, I’d mutter… “I hate mornings, I hate my job” – But, even back then, I would flip it into … “At least I have a job, many don’t.” It helped me get through my 10+ hour days.
Now that I’m on disability, I truly miss the job I once had. I often dream of the places I worked, because I do miss working.
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Thanks for reading and commenting Beckie. I missed you girl. It feels really good blogging again. I am going to try to make time to blog and read more blogs again. I hope I can do it. I am just a lot more busy now. Working is important. It helps with identity and purpose. I just work part-time about 18 hours a week. I am still on SSDI. If and when you feel better again, you can work part-time on disability to supplement your income etc. I am always trying to find a perfect job and I just haven’t found it yet. I have an interview for a peer support specialist this Friday. I pray I get that job. I want to focus more on mental health advocate again and put all my focus back on that. I need to. It is my passion. I did not go through what I went through for nothing. I hope to visit your blog soon. I have been so busy and I have a lot to share about new things in my life again. I hope you are doing well Beckie. Much love and hugs again, Sue
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I missed you too, Sue!
I’m going to look into a PT job, although it will be tough because I don’t have a car.
Also, it sucks because I’m battling this depression thing all over again like back in September.
I think you would be absolutely perfect as a peer support specialist! I will pray and hope like mad for you!!!!! The very best of luck to you!!!! Keep us posted!!!! 😘
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Sorry, you don’t have a car. I hope you can get one soon I hate not having a car. It makes everything more difficult (for me anyway). I am not good at taking the bus and I hate spending so much money on cabs. I hope your depression will be short lived and you will feel better very soon. I will pray for you. Thank you for your encouraging words. You have always been the best. Thank you. Hugs.
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You are in my thoughts and prayers always, too, Sue!
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I am also extremely sensitive to other people’s verbal and non-verbal cues. I have a hard time with that sometimes. Do you know what caused us to be this way? I now know that not everyone is like this. I have my own theory on what may have caused this, but I would love to know what you think. I have never had the opportunity to ask someone else who is just like myself in this way.
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Yes it is very rare. It can be a blessing and sometimes not so much a blessing. I hurt for others often and that is not fun but on the flip side it is great to have such huge empathy and compassion for other people. That is a huge blessing and beautiful trait. I think being abused as a child caused me to be more aware of my surroundings and verbal and physical cues of others. Also, I am an empath. Have you heard of that? It sounds like you might be an empath as well. “The trademark of an empath is that they feel and absorb other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the emotions of others. They feel everything — sometimes even physically.” Please share what your theory is. I would love to hear it. Much love and hugs, Sue
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