It is Getting Close to the Day–Two Days Away

It is getting very close to the day. I always wondered how I would feel on that day. Actually, the thought of it creates fear, anxiety and almost brings me to tears. So many different emotions blended and lumped into one huge bouquet of fear knowing how close I was to losing my life and destryong the lives of my children and a huge blossom of blissful joy knowing how blessed I am to be ALIVE.

I wonder sometimes why God keeps saving my life. On February 17, 2018, I took a lethal amount of medications and laid down to die and I thought take my last breath on earth. I closed my eyes thinking I was going to meet Jesus and I was ready–at least my illness and brain told me I was ready as I was in a elated mania– a psychotic state.

That day and year in fact leave me in awe and wonder of my life. As I am feeling mentally well now, I realize how dreadfully sick I was then and have been for many years of my life. Now that I feel mentally well, I realize how strong I was to survive every day. Life was so difficult. I knew it was then, but understand it even more fully now that I am blessed to be on the other side–the healthy side of mental wellness. Praise God!

God is so goooood!

Life is good. Keep fighiting whatever you are struggling with. It is well worth the fight. Life is a precious gift we must cherish. Life will get eaiser and better. It may take longer than you ever imagined but I promise you it is worth every second of it.

Keep fighting. Recovery and healing are possible.

I am living proof.

Love the life you are  living.

Love… YOURSELF.

You are worthy and have a great purpose.

Many people love you–more than you can imagine.

JUST… LOVE…

Nothing more… nothing less.

JUST LOVE…

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7 Comments

  1. I have been suicidal and even attempted it a couple times. I am glad to still be around and I am glad that you are still here to share your story. I pray that God will bring peace and wellness to your life and continue to bless you in all that you do.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your always geat feedback. Thanks for sharing your experiences with suicide. It is nice to know we are never alone. I am happy you are here as well. God is so good. We need to keep speading the word that with God recovery and everything and anything is possible.

      Liked by 2 people

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