Everyone has been around a person that is negative by nature. In fact maybe you have been that person. Most people do not like being around negativity. If you are surrounded by a person that says negative comments and talks negatively about life, it can bring you down and make you want to flee from that person or situation.
Maybe you are the person that is being overly negative and you didn’t even realize it. Chances are, it may be why people stopped calling you or inviting you to do things and eventually stopped being your friend. I believe true friends would tell you that your negative talk and behaviors are bothering them and they would try to help you, before they just up and left. But, that is an entirely different topic for another day.
My mom used to say, “Don’t be a negative Nelly.” It was good advice, because it isn’t a positive trait to have and people do not want to be around a person that is negative. However, my mom should have talked to me further about why I was talking or behaving negatively. When people are being overly negative, there is usually an underlying reason for it. It is very important that people help them figure it out, before the negativity turns into something far worse.
Changes in behaviors, such as talking negatively, having an overall negative attitude and increased anger are red flags and could be signs of depression, suicide or other mental illness. Unhappiness and depression can cause people to have negative thoughts and feelings making it very difficult for them to turn those thoughts off and block them from living inside their mind and interfering with the quality of their life. Depression can turn your life upside down and turn everything that is good into mush.
If other people do not want to be around others when they are negative, it makes sense that we do not want to be around ourselves either. Sometimes, our ego bombards us with negative words that seem to come out of the blue. We need to shut out those negative voices and words. If we keep hearing negative words and they keep repeating in our mind they can cause us to want to run from ourselves. However, it is impossible to leave ourselves. I know, as I have tried too many times. Fortunately, I was blessed and it did not work. I could not leave and I am blessed to be alive and to be given a second, third and fourth chance to live my life and make it a good one. I never want to reach that dark, lonely, scary place again.
I am at a pretty good place with my mental health right now. I need to work at keeping myself in a good place mentally and keep improving, as well. It isn’t going to just happen. I need to make sure I tell myself positive things, even if I do not believe them at first. Hopefully, eventually I will believe them to be true.
Negative self talk is very inefficient and can lead you down a path of destruction. You cannot leave the negative Nelly inside you, because it is you. But, you can definitely change the negative self talk into positive self talk.
I watched a video made by Rochester Mayo hospital in Rochester, Minnesota. On this video the speaker said when you get a negative word or thought stuck in your mind, you need to stop that train of thought. He said one way you can do that is by repeating the word or phrase over and over and eventually it will start to sound silly to you and become less significant.
For example, repeat the word “juice” many times in your mind or say it out loud. Say or think, “juice, juice, juice, juice, juice, juice, juice…” until the word begins to sound silly. When the word juice starts to sound silly after repeating it many times, the word itself becomes meaningless and less important and most importantly your thought pattern has become distracted. The circuits in your brain have rewired onto a new and improved path.
If it is a negative word that is stuck in my head, repeating it even more than I already am is not a good idea for me. Instead, I suggest changing the negative word or thought to something positive and then repeating that word or phrase over and over in your head. Filling your mind with positive messages can only help. Of course, it is much more difficult to do this, when we are in the midst of a depression or facing other difficult life struggles, but it is essential and the journey will be well worth it.
…and a daughter of God.
I am a child of God.
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