I am Not Broken

my loud whispers of hope, , , , , , , ,

“I am not broken, my heart still beats, my spirit continues to grow.” ~unknown

I have sat with many broken people

and have sat with my broken self.

Like glass I have been broken and shattered.

God repeatedly repaired my brokenness

by carefully gluing me back together

one fragile little piece of me at a time,

until I became whole again.

Leaving only remnants of my brokenness for the world to see,

appearing as beautiful scars

tattooed on my skin

as a reminder of the many struggles

I have survived.

~written by Susan Walz (me)

Drawing by Susan Walz (medium used: oil pastels)

I used to draw and paint a lot, but have not done so for a few years. It is something I want to start up again when I feel better and the pieces of my life fit back together more securely. I might try to share more of my artwork, as it used to be a big part of my life and who I was. I have even made money selling my work over the years. Not much, but it was a nice bonus for my hobby.

I would like to share one more drawing with you. This one is an abstract drawing showing a woman lying down crying green tears. The color green and the green ribbon are used to represent mental health awareness. I drew this for an art show for people with mental illness in the area I live.

Artwork by Susan Walz (medium used: graphite and color pencils, and acrylic paint)

Copyright © By Susan Walz and myloudbipolarwhispers.com – All written content and personal artwork is © myloudbipolarwhispers.com and Susan Walz. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner/artist is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Loud Bipolar Whispers and/or Susan Walz with appropriate and specific directions to the original content.  

Published by my loud whispers of hope

I share my story openly and honestly to educate others and increase the awareness of mental illness, reduce stigma, prevent suicide, to inspire, give hope and let God's love shine through me and touch you. I finished writing, proofreading and editing my memoir in January of 2019. I am in the process of sending my manuscript to agents and publishers that accept unsolicited maunscripts. I pray my words will turn into a book that will inspire and spark joy and hope in the lives of many. Recovery and healing are possible. I am living proof. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~Maya Angelou

12 Comments

  1. You say it looks spooky, I say it feels emotional. It looks almost like a photograph, so real. Your artwork is amazing. What are you doing trying to find general jobs when you could be selling this artwork. You should do more. You are incredibly talented. You are struggling to be perfect. You learned that from someone else. No one is perfect, let it go and just draw some amazing stuff. If there is a flaw, only you will know. Perhaps when you look at that photo you remember feeling spooky around suicide at that time, or some other reason you were feeling spooky without even knowing it.

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    1. Thank you. You are so kind. I do not think I am good enough to make enough money selling my artwork, but I appreciate your encouragement. You are like my cheerleader again and I love you for that. Your words and kindness mean the world to me. You are right about the perfectionism. I do think the fear of failure and not being good enough has impacted my life many times. My self esteem and confidence in myself has always been a struggle for me. You are right it stems from my childhood abuse and as much as I try to erase it, it sticks around. I need to keep working on that. Thank you for your insight. More hugs, Sue

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      1. I’ve just started doing eft “emotional freedom technique”. It’s amazing and working for my bad habits. It’s a tapping thing, and I am telling everyone about it. It is good for everything, confidence, positivity, creativity. Negative influencaes, money etc. Type it in on utube, eft and check it out. It won’t seem like it works the first time around, but I have been doing it for. Few days now and really notice a difference.

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  2. I would definitely love to see more of your paintings/drawings. I can tell through that piece you posted that you are passionate in what you do. This is going to sound incredibly clichè, but use your mental health state to help fuel your passion for your drawings. I would, and I’m sure others would, love to see some more of your work. Maybe you could even open a new blog, and put just your art on it! Much love, darling.

    -Bessie

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    1. Thank you Bessie. I do want to try to start drawing and painting again soon when I get more time. I like that idea of making a different blog for my art. I might have to steal that idea one day. Thank you for that idea and thank you very much for your very kind words and encouragement. I appreciate all of it very much. Hugs, Sue

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      1. I think I screwed it up when I went to add tags. Did it to yours and another I had reblogged. : ( Had to delete because it took the link to your blog completely away! I’ll know better than to try to edit to add tags ever again!

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