I am very sorry there was too much negativity in my life yesterday and I am very sorry for exposing it to everyone on my blog and Twitter. I am tired of the events on Twitter yesterday. They have exhausted me.
I don’t even want to write this post today, because my brain and heart are hurt, wounded and exhausted from dealing with this man named John and his words, tweets, Twitter and the entire situation. The stigma I was exposed to yesterday evoked too much pain and anguish and took too much of my time and energy.
However, I will never stop fighting stigma and I will always call someone out when it occurs. I feel it is my job as a mental illness advocate. We cannot let it happen. We must increase awareness, educate about it and stop it, even if it is trying to stop one person at a time.
I am not writing this blog to be mean to anyone. I am writing this blog to educate about mental illness stigma and show examples of what it is and how it hurts and how stigma is used to shame, bully, and victimize people with mental illness.
I also want to clear up any confusion that may have occurred with anyone that followed any of it on Twitter. I learned while I was at work yesterday, he was bad mouthing me and saying that I was the one that started everything and I, “that woman” trashed him.
He also added that he had OCD. I am sorry he has OCD, but that still does not give him a right or an excuse to say or tweet the words he did or to stigmatize mental illness in any way shape or form. He used Twitter like a weapon and a tool to rid himself of his own pain, is my guess.
I hope that somehow I helped John and maybe others become more aware of mental illness stigma and what it is and how it can hurt people. Most importantly I pray I taught people or at least one person to stop stigmatizing people with mental illness and to stop being mean and bullying people.
Like one blogger wrote yesterday, sometimes you just can’t change people, but I am going to keep trying, fighting, educating, and talking about mental illness stigma to prevent and end stigma. We must do it now.
I don’t want people to get hurt by stigma. I was yesterday. John’s words surprised and shocked me and hurt me. They really did. I didn’t even understand where they were coming from. I was so dumbfounded.
Another very wise man I know with a beautiful and loving heart commented on Facebook with this…
“Remember hurting people hurt people,
and healed people heal people,
pray for whats hurting him and others.
Keep shining and be a light in the ever-growing darkness.”
I know the name of the man who wrote that quote, but I am not sure if he wants me to put his name on my blog. So, to be safe and kind to him, I put anonymous instead of his name. His words are so beautiful and true. I wanted to share them. I know I need to remember them always.
I am going to show you the snapshots of my dialog and the conversation from Twitter yesterday and please be honest of what you thought about my comments and his. Last night on Twitter he has said that I attacked him. His words were “that woman trashed me first. She started it.” However, he eventually apologized and I do appreciate that.
This all started because I saw a tweet John tweeted about the Trumps that said…
- “I look forward to when you find several new lovers in prison you traitorous twit.” The tweet in the middle. You can see who he tweeted that too. Okay, that was not a nice tweet and maybe I should not have tweeted back.
- I am very guilty of not being a Trump supporter at all, so I did respond about Trump in an unkind manner. Sorry, but I innocently or ignorantly responded with, “I love that. I hope he goes to prison. Oh Please!”
- Next John tweeted, “Aren’t you bipolar?”
Seeing those next words, “Aren’t you bipolar?” totally threw me off guard. I had no idea why he would ask me that or how on earth it had anything to do with our conversation about the Trumps. I knew it didn’t, so…
4. I tweeted, “Yes. Why do you ask me that?”
5. John tweeted, “I’m very smart.”
I know you can see the words on the pics, but I am just trying to make sure you can see the flow and order of the Tweeting. I am just trying to clarify everything the best I can.
14. John tweets, “Good, now go take your meds & remove it from your profile if you don’t want tone called out for it.”
15. I tweeted, “I will never take it off my profile because I am a mental illness advocate and am trying to educate idiots like you. That is my job and obviously there is a lot more work that needs to be done. You say something stupid and I can call you out on it.”
I think the worst part was when he told me that bipolar is written in my profile and that I should remove that from my profile if I do not like tone called out for it. I do not even know what that is supposed to mean. If you wrote you had cancer would there be a tone called out for it? Would he make jokes about that? I do not think so. People do not make fun of cancer.
I am not safe or free from harm, if I disclose I have an illness called bipolar disorder? Well, that is plain and simply called sitigma and is completley wrong on so many different levels that I cannot even begin to go there. I think you have get the idea behind that nonsensical comment.
I wanted to make sure I added all the tweets in order, especially because while I was at work yesterday, he tweeted about how I started it all and I, “that woman,” trashed him. He also said that he thought it was all in good fun because we were joking with each other. I do not know when I appeared to be joking. Lies. I also did not trash him or start anything. More lies.
The only thing I said at all that was rude was that I told him he wasn’t funny and told him to be nice once. It was my last tweet that I may not have used nice language and I am sorry about that. I need to come up with better words than ignorance and stupid. I should never call anyone that and I am sorry.
Stigma is ignorance. Racism is ignorance, too. I need to find better words. It is a lack of awareness and education. Sorry, but stigma and racism and discrimination and bullying of any kind makes me upset, even more so when it is done to others.
I used to always tell myself this quote, when my children were little.
“Children need love the most, when they least deserve it.” ~unknown
I need to try remember that, when I am being hurt by words and when I am seeing mental illness stigma and racism of any kind. I could remember those words and the idea behind it, when it applied to my children. I need to remember it now when it applies to adult children, adult broken people. I believe anyone that is cruel is broken in some way.
John said he has OCD and I am sorry he has OCD. I would never make fun of OCD or someone with who has OCD. Just because someone has a mental illness, is never an excuse for cruel or lousy behavior. Having OCD does not give John the excuse or justification to stigmatize someone else and it doesn’t lessen the damage and wrongs that he did and said.
Ignorance or having mental illness is not an excuse for cruel behavior. Just because you have a mental illness does not give you the right to stigmatize others. I have bipolar 1 Disorder, PTSD, personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and I am a suicide attempt survivor, but none of that gives me the right to make fun of another human being, no matter what state of mind or mood pole I am in. It is never an excuse for lousy or cruel behavior.
I forgive John. I have had to block him from Twitter though because this has completely exhausted me and he scares me now. I am tired of the entire situation and I am bored of it. I did not even want to write this post today, because this was too much and I just want this to be behind me. I want to forgive and forget.
I feel bad for John. I think he knows he was wrong. I am not sure if he feels bad because he was caught and others have now seen his behavior or if he genuinely feels bad because he knows his words were wrong and hurtful.
It feels so much better to let this go and forgive him and pray for him. I pray one day he has a happy heart and happy spirit and will be able to show and express love and kindness to others, instead of hate.
I did thank John for giving me examples to use to show others what stigma is. I think many people don’t believe that stigma happens as much as it does. Many people are in denial of the realities of stigma and the pain it can cause.
Stigma is real. It happens. I showed you new examples of the stigma I faced on Twitter yesterday.
Stigma is real.
Stigma must stop now.
Please make a Tweet using a hashtag # and the words ihave
to help stop and end stigma!
represents to others that you have been affected by mental illness stigma or know others that have, you have witnessed mental illness stigma, you know mental illness stigma happens and you know that mental illness stigma must stop now.
Please help me by tweeting #ihave and see if we can start a new movement and increase awareness of mental illness, mental illness stigma, suicide and suicide prevention. It is all related in some and many ways. Please help save lives.
Shine your Brightest Light in the Darkness of Stigma
Thank you for reading my long post and thank you for helping me with my Twitter #ihave idea, if you can. I appreciate all the help I can get with this.
The bottom line is that all of this was caused becasue I have bipolar disorder and I proudly displayed that on my profile on Twitter. That should not be a problem, but it still is to too many people and I happened to meet one of them on Twitter, unfortuately. Hopefully, I helped so that he will not hurt anyone else.
Have a happy, healthy, stigma-free and fabulous weekend. Happy Friday.
Love and hugs, Sue
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