The stench from my severe suicidal depression combined with strong suicidal ideations, permeated throughout my brain and out the walls of my skull, creating an unbearable existence for myself and everyone around me.
This horrendous stench of suicide and death that filled my mind, head, thoughts and the air around me gradually dissipated and slowly evaporated over the last two days of my life of living.
My bipolar ultradian rapid cycling brain switched back to the beautiful scent of a hypomanic mood pole, where I am most comfortable, capable and happy to live my life.
Hypomania is when everything is more.
More racing thoughts ricochet throughout my brain. Talking more and faster. Saying more than I should. Being awake more. Getting more things accomplished. Feeling better about myself than I should. Being more creative. Spending more money than I have.
Understanding much more. Understanding at a deeper level. Knowing more than others. Knowing more about life. Liking beyond like. Loving beyond love. Feeling more emotions than I have. Expressing more emotions to everyone around me. Feeling more than others. Feeling the pain, sorrow and joy of others to the point that it becomes my own pain, sorrow and joy. Feeling sympathy until it hurts. Feeling more compassion and empathy, until it becomes too much to feel and know.
Colors are brighter and more vivid. Sounds are louder and clearer. Fragrances become sweeter and more pleasant. Everything tastes better. Touch creates a more splendid sensation that has never been felt before. Each sensation is more intense. Songs are sung more beautifully. Words have more meaning. Everything makes more sense. Thoughts are deeper and more. Minds can travel to places where they have never been before, staying there longer, enjoying and seeing and experiencing more than there is to see, explore and to know.
Sorrow is sadder. Tears fall easier and more. Anger is angrier. Fun is more enjoyable. Joy is more joyful. Happiness is happier. Life and living are better. Love is more. Life is more. Everything is more. More is more.
We are more. You are more. I am more. More is better than less. More is better than depression. More is better than suicide. Hypomania is better than less. Hypomania is better than more. Hypomania is more.
Hypomania is my life. Hypomania means I am living and I am happy to be alive.
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