No One Chooses Suicide

First of all, I would like to start my post with a reminder to everyone that I have Bipolar Disorder but that I am NOT STUPID. One of my biggest pet peeves about living with this illness is that some people talk to me like I am stupid and say some very ignorant things. Duh! I am not stupid.

Anyway, I am sorry but there was a comment on one of my posts this morning that truly sparked my rapid thoughts a blazing. I hope that it is God speaking to me telling me that this is a very important post to write about. I have these thoughts rapidly flying inside my mind right now and I feel the need for speed to share them with you.

Someone recently commented on my post about my last severe suicidal experience and I truly realize and know that they were only trying to be kind and helpful. However, many of the words hit me inside my head hard with a baseball bat size force causing my thoughts to rapidly speed up and ooze out all over the living room floor and shout out into the computer with hopes of increasing awareness and educating many people in a positive way.

Please be careful what you say to others. Even though you are trying to help people feel better  you might make them feel worse and your words could effect some people negatively. Always remember you do not know who you are speaking to . You may be speaking to someone who has a mental illness and/or is a suicide survivor by surviving their own suicide attempt or attempts or they may be a suicide survivor because they survived the loss of a loved one or friend through suicide. Please become more aware, educate yourself about suicide, mental illness and the stigma of mental illness.

Some of the hurtful uneducated comments I have heard about suicide attempts and actual suicides are:

1. Suicide is a choice.
2. Suicide is very selfish.
3. They took the easy way out.
4. They just wanted attention.
5. You will go to Hell if you kill yourself.
6. You must pray more and get the devil out of you.
7. God saved you because He knows suicide is bad (no I believe God always saves me because He loves me and adores me.I am one of His children).
8. People will miss you. (Duh!)
9. You are going to hurt so many people. (Duh!)
10. It will get better.
11. Just have some hope.
12. Why would you want to kill yourself?
13. You have nothing to be sad or depressed about.
14. Life is so good.(I know this and love life when my brain is functioning correctly and all my circuits are connected properly)

First of all, no one ever actually chooses suicide. No one wakes up one morning and says, “Gosh today sure seems like a beautiful day to kill myself.” Suicide is never a life long goal. When thinking about their future dreams, no one ever dreams about killing themselves. No one ever wants to die or leave the earth forever. It is not a choice or a decision anyone would willingly make if their brain was functioning normally at the time.

When the brain chemistry or some or many parts of your brain are not working correctly, it is a horrific, agonizing and debilitating experience to live through a severe suicidal depression. Most of the time it is as if your brain is completely out of your control and is screaming at you to end your life. I have had numerous suicide attempts throughout my life, but luckily I was very blessed and God saved my life many times and I survived.

Many people with mental illness struggle with constant suicidal ideations where it feels like your brain is in a battle with itself to live or die.Suicidal ideations often just arise from nowhere with no apparent rhyme or reason. They just happen.

Bipolar disorder 1 is the most severe form of Bipolar Disorder and has the highest suicide rate and I am still living, surviving and trying very hard to thrive and serve the Lord during my lifetime on earth.

People that do kill themselves or try to kill themselves never really want to leave their children, family, loved ones or friends. They never want to leave this earth forever. They just want to leave the extreme internal mental pain they live with. Suicidal thoughts and actions don’t just occur instantaneously. The suicidal thoughts have begun and occurred over many days, months, years or a lifetime.

Please remember loudly that people do not choose suicide. Illness and suicide choose them.

Again…..no one chooses suicide. Suicide chooses them

I just had to get these thoughts out of my rambling head. Thanks for listening and I hope and pray it helped someone somewhere. Have a fabulous, happy, love-filled, peaceful and blessed day. May your cup of life overflow with a lifetime of blessings.